We all are pretty aware of the fact that fights and scuffles over money is one of the primary causes of so many divorces in the United States of America. One-third couples accept the fact that they indulge into a fight about money around once a month. But have you ever wondered what these money fights are about? Do they revolve around the numbers that are there in the bank account? Not really! More often they revolve around the communication, trust and power that lie between couples.
When you both are in the middle of a conflict, it may sometimes seem that you won’t understand each other and you will never find any common thing between both of you. So, instead of screaming their heart out, we need to get to the middle of the issue so that both you and your partner can build a good financial relationship together.
#1: Follow the same budget, a frugal one
These days majority of the people follow a budget but there are some who do it in their heads. If you’re maintaining competing accounts or you both don’t have any idea of where your dollars are going, it’s high time to get the numbers into a neutral. You can use an online budget app or update a spreadsheet regarding a budget. Even though your arguments are only about dishonesty, you should take into account some cold and hard facts on who spent how much money on what.
#2: Take out enough time for talking about money
Don’t sit and discuss about the apparent incapability of your spouse to use his credit cards properly to repay credit card debt. Don’t waste time in speculating how much funds your wife has actually spent on buying her favorite pair of shoes! These are baseless at such a moment! It is definitely better to agree on a money-talk where you can sit and have a polite conversation on money and budget. Money is often the cause of enough guilt, anxiety and shame and hence you can feel vulnerable while speaking on it.
#3: Listen before you judge your partner
It is extremely vital to listen to your partner before judging his or her financial behaviors and decisions. Even though you may feel that it is irrational to get an HBO subscription, yet if you wish to be inside a healthy relationship, you should understand what your better half is saying. Ask your spouse the reason behind acting or reacting in the way he or she does. This will reduce the level of conflict.
#4: Know when you should seek help of a professional
There are few crucial money mistakes which can spur levels of stress between you both like high interest credit card debt, late payments and falling credit scores. This is when you should both prompt yourself to seek professional help.
Therefore, it is always better to seek help early before everything soars out of control. In case you’re going through dire financial state and yet your behaviors are not altering, it is always better to get expert assistance.
